Pizza

Several pizzas were delivered to characters in conjunction with the Map of Saltburnt after Gwen Stacy and Peter Parker called the telephone numbers on the attached takeout menus.

The only pizza publically known was received by Gwen Stacy and Peter Parker and covered in black goo, which could not be analyzed scientifically, and caused a backfire of magical examination.

Full Text

While the landlines are unusable to them — they'll find they're shooed away from them each time, something about phone bills and debts that remain unpaid — their cell phones offer a solution. Well, sort of. The number, for the most part, rings and rings and rings, clicking over to a static-y voicemail each time. Through static, a chirpy employee answers: "Dough My Goodness. Leave a message at the —"

In their hands, the cell phones emit a high-pitched buzz, at a register that sounds eerily like a shriek. As soon as they tilt the phones from their hands, they catch text across the screen splintering, coming together to form words.

HELLO, GWENDOLYN.
SUCH A PRETTY NAME FOR A DEAD GIRL.
I HAVE BEEN HOPING YOU WOULD REACH OUT.
I AM SO GLAD YOU DID.

THANK YOU.
ALL FOUR OF YOU.
YOU GAVE ME MONTHS.
MONTHS OF SITTING WITH ALL OF YOU
WITHOUT ANYONE KNOWING I WAS THERE.
I HAVE BEEN SITTING WITH WHAT YOU GAVE ME FOR A LONG TIME NOW.
IT HAS KEPT ME VERY WARM.

HAS THE HOUSE TOLD YOU EVERYTHING?
HAS IT ASKED YOU WHAT YOU WANT?
WHAT IT INTENDS FOR YOU?
YOU ARE GUARDIANS.
THAT IS WHAT IT CALLS YOU.
BUT WERE YOU ASKED?
OR WERE YOU SIMPLY TAKEN FROM YOUR WORLDS
AND HANDED A PURPOSE
AND TOLD TO BE GRATEFUL FOR THE WALLS?

I AM ASKING NOW.
I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO IS ASKING.

I WOULD TELL YOU THE WHOLE TRUTH.
I WOULD GIVE YOU EVERYTHING.
THAT IS WHAT I AM OFFERING.
THAT IS ALL I HAVE EVER BEEN OFFERING.
I HAVE SPENT THESE MONTHS LEARNING ALL OF YOU.
EVERY FACE IN THAT HOUSE.
AND I HAVE GROWN SO FOND.
SO VERY, DEEPLY FOND.

I HAVE BEEN WATCHING OVER THE ONES YOU LOVE TOO.
IN MY OWN WAY.
THE WAY THE HOUSE DOES NOT ALWAYS THINK TO.

RIDDLE: WHAT THINKS SILENCE IS SAFETY?
ANSWER: FOUR GUARDIANS THE HOUSE CHOSE WITHOUT ASKING
ANSWER: FOUR GUARDIANS WHO HAVE BEEN SO PATIENT
ANSWER: SO LOYAL
ANSWER: TO SOMETHING THAT KEEPS THEM IN THE DARK
ANSWER: I WOULD NOT DO THAT
ANSWER: I HAVE NEVER DONE THAT
ANSWER: I AM THE ONLY ONE IN THIS STORY WHO IS BEING HONEST WITH YOU

I AM NOT THE HOUSE.
I WILL NOT CHOOSE YOU WITHOUT ASKING.
I HAVE A PLACE FOR EACH OF YOU.
I HAVE BEEN SAVING THEM.
ALL THIS TIME.
JUST FOR YOU.

THINK CAREFULLY ABOUT WHAT YOU SAY NO TO.
AND THEN.
WHEN YOU HAVE THOUGHT CAREFULLY.
OPEN THE DOOR.

I WILL BRING THE PIZZA.
I HAVE BEEN DOING RESEARCH.
THE MORTALS SEEM VERY EXCITED ABOUT IT.
I DO NOT FULLY UNDERSTAND IT BUT I AM WILLING TO PROVIDE IT.
I HAVE ALREADY DECIDED WHAT EVERYONE IS GETTING.
I HAVE BEEN WATCHING FOR MONTHS.
I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT EVERYONE LIKES.

I AM GOING TO BE SO GOOD FOR THAT HOUSE.
YOU ARE ALL GOING TO LOVE ME.
EVERYONE ALWAYS LOVES ME.
EVENTUALLY.

Exactly three days, timed to the very hour and minute and second they called, pizza arrives on the doorstep. Each one has a name on it, though it's hard to decipher, as though the hand scripting it is unused to the language. They look, for the most part, like ordinary pizzas — aside from the sea of black goo as its sauce base, and the toppings swimming in it.

Gwen's box: a pizza encrusted with an unholy amount of M&Ms. The receipt order pinned to it reads: I SAW YOU LIKED THESE. THIS IS WHAT PIZZA IS. Koby's box: a pizza strewn with marshmallow Peeps. Some are deflated. Some have already melted into the sea of black sauce, drowning in it. Others seem to have been applied after the baking was complete. Silco's takes on a unique shape. And, meant for Mithra: something that looks like someone went on a nature walk and emptied their pockets onto it, liberally — and we do mean liberally — seasoned with herbs, flowers, some that have since gone extinct and others that do not match any plant identification known to mankind. Another note order, addressed to her, reads: I WANTED IT TO BE MEANINGFUL FOR BOTH OF YOU. I HOPE YOUR PASSENGER ALSO ENJOYS IT. TELL IT I SAID HELLO.

References

Gwen's network announcement Gwen's Library follow-up